Spiritual or Religious?

Recently, a friend of mine posted a link to an article about Religion vs. Spirituality. Basically, the article (Spiritual but Not Religious? Please Stop Boring Me.) was written by a minister who was irked by people telling her that they were "spiritual but not religious." The article is a bit "snarky" for lack of a better term, but there was a lot of good debate that went on in the comments of my friend's status. It made me think a lot about my own situation.

For years, I would have put myself in the "spiritual but not religious" category. Loren-Paul Caplin, in a different blog post (Religious vs. Spiritual: Semantics or Neurotics?), described spiritual as such: "I just assumed that if I held some personal 'spiritual' belief in, let's just call it, a beyond-our-physical-universe reality (the nature of which won't be discussed here) that includes a very personal conception of humans (and other living things) having an eternal essence that transcends their bodies -- that I'd share enough common ground with devoutly religious people to, well, at least not piss them off." That pretty much describes how I felt. I felt like there was something out there, and I thought that was enough. As long as I acknowledged that there was something beyond me, then I would be alright, right?

Here's the problem, with being "spiritual" without being "religious," at least as it applied to me for 20 years. It was about me and only me. I took comfort in this idea that there was "something" out there beyond me. But I didn't have anything to share with anyone else. What could I tell other people? "Ummm.... Yeah.... I believe there's something beyond us." How does that inspire anyone else to believe? Does it help them develop their own spirituality? I had nothing to share.

Now, though, I have a lot more to share. I have my story of how I came to Christ. I have direction and a path. I know that there's a whole lot more to this than what's in it for me. And I'm eager to share what I feel and know with others. I'm now proudly religious.

On Phones

Today, Alecia and I went to lunch at Cholula's.  While we were eating, we couldn't help but overhear what was being said in the booth next to ours. One woman was reading a text conversation she had had with someone else out loud to her friend. This was a very personal text exchange between her and a guy that I really didn't want to hear. This went on for about 10 minutes, and then this same woman received a phone call. She proceeded to talk on the phone for the rest of the time we were there (probably 15 minutes or more). In fact, when we were paying, I looked back and she was still on the phone. Her friend was sitting there blankly staring out the window. I can't imagine her friend was happy with the whole situation.

Now, I'll admit that I'm a big fan of cell phones and texting and many of you may think that I'm the pot calling the kettle black, but, this situation really made me think. I'm worried about where we're heading as a society. As a parent, I'm especially worried. How many of our kids can't put their phones down long enough to have a decent face to face conversation? How many of them can't even turn it off or ignore it long enough to watch a two hour movie or get a decent night's sleep? What's going to happen when they go looking for jobs and pull out their phone in the middle of their interviews to respond to a text? Are we the ones teaching them this behavior? I, for one, intend to be a little more careful about the example I set. So from now on, if you text me and I don't respond immediately, don't get upset. I'm probably talking to one of my kids.

What a Difference a Year Can Make

Last Saturday, I married the love of my life. As the wedding was drawing closer, I kept thinking back on how much my life had changed in a year. At the time I was a little too busy to put my thoughts into words. As things have settled down (hah!), I wanted to organize my thoughts and put pen to paper, so to speak.

Early in August, 2010, I was just starting to realize that I really liked Alecia and that I wanted to date her. Today, I'm married to her.

Last year, Chris and Cordelia were engaged and living with me. Today, they're happily married and living on their own in Greenfield.

Last year, my house was cluttered, my fence and carport were falling down and my central air wasn't working. Today, the fence & carport are gone. The house is clean and every surface in it has been refinished or repainted. Both bathrooms have been gutted and rebuilt. We have a completely new heating and cooling system and the window in the back of the house that was rotting apart has been replaced. We have plans for a garage, fence, new windows, new kitchen, etc.

Most importantly, last year, I was attending a church, but didn't belong. I believed in God, but didn't know God. Today, I'm a member of First Christian Church. I have given my life to Christ and I'm excited to be involved. We are planning to join our church's mission trip to Swaziland next summer. And Alecia has gone back to school to get her Masters of Divinity from Christian Theological Seminary.

What a difference a year can make!

I choose to love

A disclaimer:  The following post is my opinion only, and in it I use generalizations. By no means am I trying to say that ALL Christians are a certain way, etc.

Something I saw posted today finally solidified some of the thoughts I've had since attending our denomination's General Assembly last week. Basically, the post questioned why it was ok for Christians to use parts of Leviticus to tell homosexuals that they're sinners and abominations, but to ignore other parts of Leviticus, such as passages that say you must not wear garments of two kinds of material or get tattoos. There's quite a bit in there about sacrificing animals as well.

I have friends who are atheists. I suspect that a couple of them are atheists because they've been so despised and alienated by Christians for who they are. They are totally turned off to religion. I've been thinking a lot about these friends over the past week.

I walked away from the church when I was in college. Part of the reason I left was because I was being exposed to a lot of people who judged others. I remember very distinctly that Campus Crusade wanted us to go to Florida for spring break to walk the beaches with bible in hand and "save the sinners." I kept thinking, "Who am I to say that someone is a sinner?" That was one of the things that pushed me over the edge. I walked away and was basically agnostic for twenty years. I wonder what would have happened if I had been told I was an abomination? What if I had been despised, ridiculed, bullied and discriminated against for what I felt in my heart? Would I have gone all the way to atheism? Would I have been convinced that there was absolutely no way there was a God?

I'm new to Christianity. It's true that I was raised in the church, but I only accepted Christ into my heart this year. And maybe I'm ignorant and/or a little naive, but I think our purpose is to introduce people to a personal relationship with Christ, not to judge them. We are on this earth to be personal representatives of a loving God. Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and soul and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

How many people have we as Christians pushed away from Christ over the years because we judge them? Do we really think that telling people they are sinners and abominations will make them want to know more about Christ? What if we loved people instead? What if we opened our arms and welcomed people into our churches, regardless of their race, economic status, sexual orientation, etc.? Would we be doing the Lord's work then?


My job, as I understand it, is to be a witness for Christ. Can I fulfill that duty by judging and condemning, or should I love my neighbor as myself? It's easy to judge people, and I'm guilty of it quite often myself, but I will do my best to follow Christ's example.

I choose to love.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I've had lots of thoughts going around my head since we spent last week at the national General Assembly for our denomination (Christian Church, Disciples of Christ). This post, however, has nothing to do with that. I hope to write more about those thoughts in the near future.

As I detailed in an earlier post, Alecia and I won some money at a reverse auction, and that money allowed us to replace the central air in our house, which quit working toward the end of last summer. I wrote how that money was a blessing from God, at a time when we really needed it.

Today, I had the opportunity to pay that blessing forward. Last summer, I had bought a window air conditioner when my central air quit. (It was so close to cooler weather, I didn't want to mess with what I suspected would be an expensive repair.) Additionally, Chris had had a window unit in his bedroom upstairs. This year, both those units have been sitting in closets. Until today. Today, a friend posted on facebook that she was looking for an A/C unit to give to a family in need. The family had five kids and limited financial resources. I offered up our two units (after conferring with Alecia, who, of course, approved). Hopefully now that family will have a little bit of respite from the oppressive heat this week.

I'm not writing about this to toot my own horn, because I didn't really do anything. All I did was recognize an opportunity and a responsibility to continue God's blessing.

I really have three reasons for posting this story. First, I continue to be amazed how God works and the fact that one blessing can have more, unforeseen blessings (by me, at least).

Second, I want to challenge anyone who reads this (including me) to keep their eyes and hearts open to needs that are around them. Look for ways you can help people.  My friend not only recognized the need of this family, but she went out and looked for ways to help them. She deserves credit for the compassionate love she displayed.

Finally, I want to challenge myself to continue to look at the ways God has blessed me and see if He is calling me to pay those blessings forward. After all....

What goes around, comes around.

On Parenting

Last week was a trying one for me as a parent. I won't go into all the details, as they're really unimportant to this post and because sharing too many details will only make things worse.

What I'm really struggling with right now is where to draw the line. How often do we allow our children to push us away and then come back like nothing ever happened? How often do we let them say hurtful things to us and then turn around and say they love us? How often can they think we're doing things out of spite or simply to be mean when they surely must know us well enough by now to know we only act in what we believe is the best interest of our children?

Now, I'm not talking about drawing the line on love. I will always love my children, no matter what. It's more a question of when to use "tough love" for lack of a better term.  When do you reach out to your children and when do you take a step back and make them come to you? When do you stand your ground to try to teach them a life lesson?

I have been praying on this subject all week. I've been trying to relate my parenting issues with how God must have felt with me over the past 40 years. How many times did I turn my back on Him when he reached out to me? How many times did I reject the things He wanted for me, because they didn't agree with what I wanted? I know He never stopped loving me, but were there times He took a step back and said, "You need to take the next step in this relationship?" Or was I just oblivious to Him constantly reaching out to me? I really don't know the answers.

To my mom, I apologize for all the times I thought you were doing things just to be mean, for all the times I said mean things to you and for all the times I turned my back on you. I now understand how your heart must have ached all these years.

To my children (all of them), please understand that I will always love you, that I want nothing but the best possible lives for you and that I will do whatever I can to make that happen. But also understand that I am far from perfect. I have made, and will make, mistakes. There is no instruction manual for parenting. Regardless, though, I have always acted, and will always act, in what I think is your best interest. Even if that involves "tough love" or unpopular decisions. I am also human, and I have feelings. Rejection hurts me just as much as it hurts you.

And to my God and Father, my greatest apologies for all the years I rejected You, for all the sins I have committed and continue to commit and for all the pain I have caused You.

From Him and through Him and to Him are all things

Well... It's been a heck of a week. I flew to India on Monday, spent three days there (two on business and one looking around) and flew home on Saturday.  But that's not really what this blog is about. I'll write another time about my observations about India.

While I was in India, Alecia had the heating and cooling guys come to the house, because our central air conditioning isn't working. The whole furnace and A/C is about 20 years old, and they're telling us we need to replace it. The quotes were ranging between $5,000 and $10,000, depending on how good of system we wanted. Alecia broke this news to me on Friday. We talked a little bit about our options for getting hold of this kind of money, but nothing was looking very promising. It was a pretty depressing conversation.

We also talked about the Chamber of Commerce's annual Cash Bash scheduled for Saturday night.  With Alecia's job, she really needs to go to these kinds of events, because they're good opportunities for her to mingle and talk to people who might end up donating to her health clinic. We had talked about going before and just hadn't committed, because she knew that I would be getting back from India that afternoon and that I might be too tired to go.  I told her that I thought I'd be fine to go and that she ought to go ahead and get a ticket, since she really needed to be there. So she bought a ticket Friday afternoon.

Alecia spent Friday trying to figure out how to get the money for the new furnace. She talked to the bank. She started wondering again whether or not we should really have a reception following our wedding in August. It's hard to justify spending that kind of money on a wedding reception when you don't have heat or air conditioning. When Alecia picked me up at the airport Saturday afternoon, we didn't talk about the issue because it was too depressing, but it was obvious that it was weighing heavily on our thoughts.  As Saturday evening rolled around, we questioned again whether or not we should go to the Cash Bash.  In the end, we decided that we should still go.

The Cash Bash is a reverse raffle.  200 tickets are sold at $200 a piece and the grand prize for the event is $10,000.  The ticket numbers are pulled out of a drum and marked off on a chart.  There are gift baskets and small prizes that are handed out to the 1st, 25th, 50th, 75th, 100th, 125th, 150th and 175th ticket drawn. The last ticket drawn wins the $10,000. We had ticket #50.

As the night progressed, we kept waiting to hear our ticket number called. Before we knew it, 100 tickets had been pulled from the drum and ours wasn't one of them. We started talking about how we thought it would be worse to be eliminated near the end, than to be eliminated early on. I didn't even dare to think we might win. Then they were down to 50 tickets left in the drum. Alecia asked me if we should tell anyone we were still in it, or if that would jinx our chances. She decided to tell her aunt and uncle that we were still in it, because she didn't want them to leave before our number was called.

Then there were 25 tickets left, and ours still hadn't been called. That's when I started to get nervous. Then they fired off fifteen more numbers in rapid succession and our ticket still hadn't been drawn. We were in the final ten! At that point, they told us that the final four tickets would all win something. And they called off six more numbers. We heard, "Fifty..." and Alecia groaned. But then he finished, "Five." Ticket #55 had just been called, not ours! All the sudden, we were in the final four!

At that point, they had the holders of the final four tickets come to the front.  They told us what the four prize packages were (fourth place was a patio set from Walmart, third place was a gift basket, second place was $1,000 and of course, first place was the $10,000). The third place gift basket included two tickets to a Shelby County Players production. At that point, I resigned myself to the fact that we would be winning that gift basket, since the last thing I really needed was free tickets to an SCP play.  They gave us the opportunity to work out a deal with the other final four ticket holders (pooling our chances in exchange for splitting the prize). None of us wanted to deal.

They pulled a ticket.... It wasn't ours. They pulled another ticket... It wasn't ours either! Were we actually one of the final two tickets remaining? Did we actually have a 50/50 chance of winning $10,000 at an event we hadn't even bought a ticket for until the day before and hadn't even decided to really attend until an hour before it started? They pulled the second to last ticket, read the number.... And it wasn't ours! Alecia and I looked at each other and our jaws dropped as we realized we had just won $10,000!

At that point, things became a bit of a blur. People were congratulating us (including the other final four ticket holders, none of whom could have been any more gracious). They were presenting the big check to us. The radio station and the newspaper interviewed Alecia. People kept telling us how happy they were that we won because they knew we were starting our new life together and could really use the money.

A tremendous weight has been lifted from our shoulders. We can get the furnace and air conditioner replaced without feeling guilty about having the wedding.

Since last night, I can't help but think that winning that money was the answer to our prayers. But was it really? A lot of people have congratulated us and told us that "God is good." And truly, He is. I have no doubt about that. And it's certainly within his power to arrange for us to win this money. But would He do that for us? Why? Did we deserve this? Did we deserve it more than all the others who were there last night? Or was it purely chance?

And then I remember, we can't do anything to "deserve" God's grace. In Ephesians 2:8-9, Paul says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

Is this money a gift from God? Paul answers the question for me in Romans 11:34-36, "'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?' 'Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."