Last week was a trying one for me as a parent. I won't go into all the details, as they're really unimportant to this post and because sharing too many details will only make things worse.
What I'm really struggling with right now is where to draw the line. How often do we allow our children to push us away and then come back like nothing ever happened? How often do we let them say hurtful things to us and then turn around and say they love us? How often can they think we're doing things out of spite or simply to be mean when they surely must know us well enough by now to know we only act in what we believe is the best interest of our children?
Now, I'm not talking about drawing the line on love. I will always love my children, no matter what. It's more a question of when to use "tough love" for lack of a better term. When do you reach out to your children and when do you take a step back and make them come to you? When do you stand your ground to try to teach them a life lesson?
I have been praying on this subject all week. I've been trying to relate my parenting issues with how God must have felt with me over the past 40 years. How many times did I turn my back on Him when he reached out to me? How many times did I reject the things He wanted for me, because they didn't agree with what I wanted? I know He never stopped loving me, but were there times He took a step back and said, "You need to take the next step in this relationship?" Or was I just oblivious to Him constantly reaching out to me? I really don't know the answers.
To my mom, I apologize for all the times I thought you were doing things just to be mean, for all the times I said mean things to you and for all the times I turned my back on you. I now understand how your heart must have ached all these years.
To my children (all of them), please understand that I will always love you, that I want nothing but the best possible lives for you and that I will do whatever I can to make that happen. But also understand that I am far from perfect. I have made, and will make, mistakes. There is no instruction manual for parenting. Regardless, though, I have always acted, and will always act, in what I think is your best interest. Even if that involves "tough love" or unpopular decisions. I am also human, and I have feelings. Rejection hurts me just as much as it hurts you.
And to my God and Father, my greatest apologies for all the years I rejected You, for all the sins I have committed and continue to commit and for all the pain I have caused You.
What I'm really struggling with right now is where to draw the line. How often do we allow our children to push us away and then come back like nothing ever happened? How often do we let them say hurtful things to us and then turn around and say they love us? How often can they think we're doing things out of spite or simply to be mean when they surely must know us well enough by now to know we only act in what we believe is the best interest of our children?
Now, I'm not talking about drawing the line on love. I will always love my children, no matter what. It's more a question of when to use "tough love" for lack of a better term. When do you reach out to your children and when do you take a step back and make them come to you? When do you stand your ground to try to teach them a life lesson?
I have been praying on this subject all week. I've been trying to relate my parenting issues with how God must have felt with me over the past 40 years. How many times did I turn my back on Him when he reached out to me? How many times did I reject the things He wanted for me, because they didn't agree with what I wanted? I know He never stopped loving me, but were there times He took a step back and said, "You need to take the next step in this relationship?" Or was I just oblivious to Him constantly reaching out to me? I really don't know the answers.
To my mom, I apologize for all the times I thought you were doing things just to be mean, for all the times I said mean things to you and for all the times I turned my back on you. I now understand how your heart must have ached all these years.
To my children (all of them), please understand that I will always love you, that I want nothing but the best possible lives for you and that I will do whatever I can to make that happen. But also understand that I am far from perfect. I have made, and will make, mistakes. There is no instruction manual for parenting. Regardless, though, I have always acted, and will always act, in what I think is your best interest. Even if that involves "tough love" or unpopular decisions. I am also human, and I have feelings. Rejection hurts me just as much as it hurts you.
And to my God and Father, my greatest apologies for all the years I rejected You, for all the sins I have committed and continue to commit and for all the pain I have caused You.
Wow....I wrote something very similar to this several months ago. And I imagine that every parent on the face of the earth could write the same thing. Very well said, Russ! It has been a pleasure watching you grow in your walk with God, through your posts and blogs. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of that!
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