I choose to love

A disclaimer:  The following post is my opinion only, and in it I use generalizations. By no means am I trying to say that ALL Christians are a certain way, etc.

Something I saw posted today finally solidified some of the thoughts I've had since attending our denomination's General Assembly last week. Basically, the post questioned why it was ok for Christians to use parts of Leviticus to tell homosexuals that they're sinners and abominations, but to ignore other parts of Leviticus, such as passages that say you must not wear garments of two kinds of material or get tattoos. There's quite a bit in there about sacrificing animals as well.

I have friends who are atheists. I suspect that a couple of them are atheists because they've been so despised and alienated by Christians for who they are. They are totally turned off to religion. I've been thinking a lot about these friends over the past week.

I walked away from the church when I was in college. Part of the reason I left was because I was being exposed to a lot of people who judged others. I remember very distinctly that Campus Crusade wanted us to go to Florida for spring break to walk the beaches with bible in hand and "save the sinners." I kept thinking, "Who am I to say that someone is a sinner?" That was one of the things that pushed me over the edge. I walked away and was basically agnostic for twenty years. I wonder what would have happened if I had been told I was an abomination? What if I had been despised, ridiculed, bullied and discriminated against for what I felt in my heart? Would I have gone all the way to atheism? Would I have been convinced that there was absolutely no way there was a God?

I'm new to Christianity. It's true that I was raised in the church, but I only accepted Christ into my heart this year. And maybe I'm ignorant and/or a little naive, but I think our purpose is to introduce people to a personal relationship with Christ, not to judge them. We are on this earth to be personal representatives of a loving God. Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and soul and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

How many people have we as Christians pushed away from Christ over the years because we judge them? Do we really think that telling people they are sinners and abominations will make them want to know more about Christ? What if we loved people instead? What if we opened our arms and welcomed people into our churches, regardless of their race, economic status, sexual orientation, etc.? Would we be doing the Lord's work then?


My job, as I understand it, is to be a witness for Christ. Can I fulfill that duty by judging and condemning, or should I love my neighbor as myself? It's easy to judge people, and I'm guilty of it quite often myself, but I will do my best to follow Christ's example.

I choose to love.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I've had lots of thoughts going around my head since we spent last week at the national General Assembly for our denomination (Christian Church, Disciples of Christ). This post, however, has nothing to do with that. I hope to write more about those thoughts in the near future.

As I detailed in an earlier post, Alecia and I won some money at a reverse auction, and that money allowed us to replace the central air in our house, which quit working toward the end of last summer. I wrote how that money was a blessing from God, at a time when we really needed it.

Today, I had the opportunity to pay that blessing forward. Last summer, I had bought a window air conditioner when my central air quit. (It was so close to cooler weather, I didn't want to mess with what I suspected would be an expensive repair.) Additionally, Chris had had a window unit in his bedroom upstairs. This year, both those units have been sitting in closets. Until today. Today, a friend posted on facebook that she was looking for an A/C unit to give to a family in need. The family had five kids and limited financial resources. I offered up our two units (after conferring with Alecia, who, of course, approved). Hopefully now that family will have a little bit of respite from the oppressive heat this week.

I'm not writing about this to toot my own horn, because I didn't really do anything. All I did was recognize an opportunity and a responsibility to continue God's blessing.

I really have three reasons for posting this story. First, I continue to be amazed how God works and the fact that one blessing can have more, unforeseen blessings (by me, at least).

Second, I want to challenge anyone who reads this (including me) to keep their eyes and hearts open to needs that are around them. Look for ways you can help people.  My friend not only recognized the need of this family, but she went out and looked for ways to help them. She deserves credit for the compassionate love she displayed.

Finally, I want to challenge myself to continue to look at the ways God has blessed me and see if He is calling me to pay those blessings forward. After all....

What goes around, comes around.

On Parenting

Last week was a trying one for me as a parent. I won't go into all the details, as they're really unimportant to this post and because sharing too many details will only make things worse.

What I'm really struggling with right now is where to draw the line. How often do we allow our children to push us away and then come back like nothing ever happened? How often do we let them say hurtful things to us and then turn around and say they love us? How often can they think we're doing things out of spite or simply to be mean when they surely must know us well enough by now to know we only act in what we believe is the best interest of our children?

Now, I'm not talking about drawing the line on love. I will always love my children, no matter what. It's more a question of when to use "tough love" for lack of a better term.  When do you reach out to your children and when do you take a step back and make them come to you? When do you stand your ground to try to teach them a life lesson?

I have been praying on this subject all week. I've been trying to relate my parenting issues with how God must have felt with me over the past 40 years. How many times did I turn my back on Him when he reached out to me? How many times did I reject the things He wanted for me, because they didn't agree with what I wanted? I know He never stopped loving me, but were there times He took a step back and said, "You need to take the next step in this relationship?" Or was I just oblivious to Him constantly reaching out to me? I really don't know the answers.

To my mom, I apologize for all the times I thought you were doing things just to be mean, for all the times I said mean things to you and for all the times I turned my back on you. I now understand how your heart must have ached all these years.

To my children (all of them), please understand that I will always love you, that I want nothing but the best possible lives for you and that I will do whatever I can to make that happen. But also understand that I am far from perfect. I have made, and will make, mistakes. There is no instruction manual for parenting. Regardless, though, I have always acted, and will always act, in what I think is your best interest. Even if that involves "tough love" or unpopular decisions. I am also human, and I have feelings. Rejection hurts me just as much as it hurts you.

And to my God and Father, my greatest apologies for all the years I rejected You, for all the sins I have committed and continue to commit and for all the pain I have caused You.

From Him and through Him and to Him are all things

Well... It's been a heck of a week. I flew to India on Monday, spent three days there (two on business and one looking around) and flew home on Saturday.  But that's not really what this blog is about. I'll write another time about my observations about India.

While I was in India, Alecia had the heating and cooling guys come to the house, because our central air conditioning isn't working. The whole furnace and A/C is about 20 years old, and they're telling us we need to replace it. The quotes were ranging between $5,000 and $10,000, depending on how good of system we wanted. Alecia broke this news to me on Friday. We talked a little bit about our options for getting hold of this kind of money, but nothing was looking very promising. It was a pretty depressing conversation.

We also talked about the Chamber of Commerce's annual Cash Bash scheduled for Saturday night.  With Alecia's job, she really needs to go to these kinds of events, because they're good opportunities for her to mingle and talk to people who might end up donating to her health clinic. We had talked about going before and just hadn't committed, because she knew that I would be getting back from India that afternoon and that I might be too tired to go.  I told her that I thought I'd be fine to go and that she ought to go ahead and get a ticket, since she really needed to be there. So she bought a ticket Friday afternoon.

Alecia spent Friday trying to figure out how to get the money for the new furnace. She talked to the bank. She started wondering again whether or not we should really have a reception following our wedding in August. It's hard to justify spending that kind of money on a wedding reception when you don't have heat or air conditioning. When Alecia picked me up at the airport Saturday afternoon, we didn't talk about the issue because it was too depressing, but it was obvious that it was weighing heavily on our thoughts.  As Saturday evening rolled around, we questioned again whether or not we should go to the Cash Bash.  In the end, we decided that we should still go.

The Cash Bash is a reverse raffle.  200 tickets are sold at $200 a piece and the grand prize for the event is $10,000.  The ticket numbers are pulled out of a drum and marked off on a chart.  There are gift baskets and small prizes that are handed out to the 1st, 25th, 50th, 75th, 100th, 125th, 150th and 175th ticket drawn. The last ticket drawn wins the $10,000. We had ticket #50.

As the night progressed, we kept waiting to hear our ticket number called. Before we knew it, 100 tickets had been pulled from the drum and ours wasn't one of them. We started talking about how we thought it would be worse to be eliminated near the end, than to be eliminated early on. I didn't even dare to think we might win. Then they were down to 50 tickets left in the drum. Alecia asked me if we should tell anyone we were still in it, or if that would jinx our chances. She decided to tell her aunt and uncle that we were still in it, because she didn't want them to leave before our number was called.

Then there were 25 tickets left, and ours still hadn't been called. That's when I started to get nervous. Then they fired off fifteen more numbers in rapid succession and our ticket still hadn't been drawn. We were in the final ten! At that point, they told us that the final four tickets would all win something. And they called off six more numbers. We heard, "Fifty..." and Alecia groaned. But then he finished, "Five." Ticket #55 had just been called, not ours! All the sudden, we were in the final four!

At that point, they had the holders of the final four tickets come to the front.  They told us what the four prize packages were (fourth place was a patio set from Walmart, third place was a gift basket, second place was $1,000 and of course, first place was the $10,000). The third place gift basket included two tickets to a Shelby County Players production. At that point, I resigned myself to the fact that we would be winning that gift basket, since the last thing I really needed was free tickets to an SCP play.  They gave us the opportunity to work out a deal with the other final four ticket holders (pooling our chances in exchange for splitting the prize). None of us wanted to deal.

They pulled a ticket.... It wasn't ours. They pulled another ticket... It wasn't ours either! Were we actually one of the final two tickets remaining? Did we actually have a 50/50 chance of winning $10,000 at an event we hadn't even bought a ticket for until the day before and hadn't even decided to really attend until an hour before it started? They pulled the second to last ticket, read the number.... And it wasn't ours! Alecia and I looked at each other and our jaws dropped as we realized we had just won $10,000!

At that point, things became a bit of a blur. People were congratulating us (including the other final four ticket holders, none of whom could have been any more gracious). They were presenting the big check to us. The radio station and the newspaper interviewed Alecia. People kept telling us how happy they were that we won because they knew we were starting our new life together and could really use the money.

A tremendous weight has been lifted from our shoulders. We can get the furnace and air conditioner replaced without feeling guilty about having the wedding.

Since last night, I can't help but think that winning that money was the answer to our prayers. But was it really? A lot of people have congratulated us and told us that "God is good." And truly, He is. I have no doubt about that. And it's certainly within his power to arrange for us to win this money. But would He do that for us? Why? Did we deserve this? Did we deserve it more than all the others who were there last night? Or was it purely chance?

And then I remember, we can't do anything to "deserve" God's grace. In Ephesians 2:8-9, Paul says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

Is this money a gift from God? Paul answers the question for me in Romans 11:34-36, "'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?' 'Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."

I just don't get it

One of my friends linked to an article on facebook today, written by an atheist. The author was complaining about charitable religious groups "exploiting tragedy for 'spiritual' gains" in Japan. He said that many religious groups were going to Japan to hand out aid and (shockingly!) handing out bibles and preaching about Jesus at the same time. He went on to state that these are "public relations stunts" to seek recognition for their good deeds and more donations, of which he says only a small portion goes to help those in need. The rest, presumably, goes to purchase bibles and other "unnecessary" items.

There was a lot wrong with the article. First of all, I would argue that handing out bibles and addressing people's spiritual needs is even more important than addressing their physical needs. After all, our souls are eternal, while are bodies have a limited life. Second, I would argue that the author is totally off-base on the motivations because he can't comprehend a God-led life. Now, as with any religion, there can be abuses. And I'm sure there are some people who are trying to further their own agenda via there affiliation with these charitable groups. But, by and large, I would like to think that the reason these groups would be seeking any public recognition for this charitable work is not to further their own desires, but to further their outreach and to help spread God's word.

Later in the article, he states that what these groups are doing is "immoral and unconscionable." I just had to laugh at that one!

But what I really don't understand is why the guy wrote the article in the first place. He claims to be an atheist, which means he does not believe in God or an afterlife. So why is he so upset about people who do believe in those things? If what we believe in is just nonsense, as he claims, then what is it hurting? Why is he actively trying to turn people away from religion if it means nothing? How's it hurting him?

I just don't get it.

It's Not About Me

I've had a couple of people thank me for being so open and willing to share what I'm going through. Trust me; it's not my choice.

I am not a writer. English was not my favorite subject. Give me numbers to play with, and I'm happy; ask me to write about or share my feelings and I panic. My daughter writes poetry. There have been times where I've read it, handed it back to her and had to say, "I'm sure it's good, but I just don't get it." I've tried. Really I have.

Sure, I got decent grades in English. But it wasn't my passion. But after last weekend, I've been writing up a storm. One person commented that I came back with my hair on fire (which would be a really neat trick!). But I've had my doubts. Would anyone read what I'm writing? Would people think I'm stupid for thinking some of the things I do? Would people think I'm stupid for not realizing some of this stuff earlier? Would I be labeled a "Jesus Freak" and lose friends over it? Would I turn people off by some of the very same actions that used to turn me off?

But then I remembered... I laid my doubts at the foot of the cross last weekend. That included not only my doubts about God, but my doubts about myself. Jesus took the burden of my doubts upon himself. I don't have to worry about them anymore. As long as I trust Him, I have no reason to doubt myself.

So why am I writing all of these notes? Because I am compelled to. God is pushing me to do this. This is his plan for me right now. Is there more to come? I hope so. I hope there will be more messages I can share. And I sincerely pray that something I write will make a difference in someone's life. Not for me. Not for my glory, but for God's.

There's a joke about me in the local theatre community. I get teased and told that "it's always all about me." In this case, though, I can honestly answer...

It's not about me.

God Speaks To Me

Yes, another note. I really need to get some work done, but I feel compelled to write.

A couple of weeks ago, Alecia and I were discussing my upcoming Walk to Emmaus. At one point, she jokingly said something along the lines of, "Don't do or ask anything that's going to embarrass me." I said, "Like, why doesn't God just speak to us directly so we know he exists and don't have to go through all this on faith?" I think her exact words were, "Yeah. Like that."

So, on my three day Walk to Emmaus, I thought a lot about Alecia. I talked a lot about Alecia.  I told my new friends about how she had told me that she thought I should do this walk, and I said that was all I needed to know…. I trusted her and her love for me and I would do it for her, no questions asked. And then the question came to my mind…. Why was I willing to throw myself blindly into a three day long event with no idea what it entailed, trusting Alecia’s love to take care of me, and I couldn’t commit to Christ’s plan for my life and trust Him to lead me where I should be going? Jesus sure wasn’t going to put me on a path that would hurt me any more than Alecia would.

I already mentioned in a previous note about the reference to Romans 12:3-8 and how I ended up looking up these verses and they resonated very deeply with me. What I didn’t mention was that another guy in our group was struggling with some issues. He said something about not feeling like he could witness for Christ because of his past, and Romans 12:3-8 popped into my head again and I immediately pulled out my Bible and read it to him. We had a lengthy discussion about how his past likely made him perfectly suited to witness to people that the rest of us would not be able to reach. He would be able to empathize with them.

Friday night, when I went to bed, I had a song stuck in my head and I could not get rid of it. That happens to me quite a bit lately, and 99% of the time, they’re Christian songs. Friday night’s song was a little ditty that we’re probably all familiar with. It starts like this…. “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” Over and over and over again. And then the questions started running through my mind… “Is it really that simple? Did we learn all we really needed to know to accept Christ back when we were children? Am I making this more complicated than it needs to be?” So what happened? The next morning, after a brief service in the chapel, we headed to breakfast. The music leader asked us to sing a song as we walked from the chapel to the dining hall. I’ll give you three guesses as to what song it he chose, but you’ll only need one. That’s right. I was floored… literally. I couldn’t stand up for several minutes.

There have been many instances like this. I could go on and on. I remember sitting at home a year and a half ago and thinking I should probably start going to church. So what happens? Tiffany Wilson texts me, tells me she’s singing a solo at her church that Sunday, and asks if I’d like to come hear her sing.

I remember sitting in church one of the first weeks after I started going back, and listening to Pastor preach to me. I mean, DIRECTLY TO ME. It was like he had been reading my thoughts. I had goose bumps.

So, as things progressed this weekend, I thought back to the question I had asked Alecia before embarking on this journey, and I realized that God does speak to me, and I can hear Him if I only listen.

And as I’ve been working on this note today, I pulled out a tin of “fish mints” that my future mother-in-law had given me on the way to the Emmaus walk Thursday. They’re mints that are shaped like fish, i.e. the Christian symbol for Jesus Christ. I had opened the tin Thursday evening and eaten a mint, but I hadn’t really looked at it.  For the rest of the weekend and every day since, I faithfully put that tin of mints in my pocket every morning, even though I never ate another one because I was too busy sucking down cough drops and Zicam tablets. I felt compelled to carry it just in case. So this afternoon, when I pulled that tin out to finally get another mint, I noticed for the first time a little banner on the front that said “Bible Verse Inside.” I opened it up, and this was what was printed inside:

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20

I looked at the online store that sells these mints. They print 78 different bible verses in these tins. And I just "happened" to get this one. Yup. God speaks to me.