(Note: I wrote this journal entry yesterday.)
As I write this, I am flying from Salt Lake City to Indianapolis: the last leg of a series of flights that started over 24 hours ago in Beijing, China. I've had a lot of time on airplanes and in airports on this trip to be able to read. And my mind is swimming with the things I've read. The latest is a book called "Prayer For People Who Can't Sit Still." I bought this book at General Assembly this summer, but haven't taken the time to read it until now. In the book, the author writes about alternative ways to pray besides sitting still and concentrating for extended periods of time.
I have to admit that prayer is a big weakness in my spiritual life. Whenever I try to pray, I find my mind wandering. I can't focus on what I'm wanting to say to God, or on listening to what God has to say to me. I feel guilty. I feel inadequate (which, of course, I am). There have been exceptions to these feelings, though. When I was on my Emmaus Walk, I found myself praying and listening to God several times. I don't really know how long I prayed, but it was for considerable lengths of time. That was the first time I truly realized that God was speaking to me; the first time I truly heard and listened. Since then, though, my prayer life could only be described as pathetic.
One of the books I read this week recommended spending a minimum of 30 minutes each day in prayer. And this book made a point: How can we expect to have a relationship with God if we don't spend time communicating with Him? The author asked what our marriages would be like if we spent as little time communicating with our spouses as we do with God.
So the first method of praying discussed in the "Prayer" book is journaling. As I read the chapter, I started to understand why I sometimes feel compelled to blog. Originally, I thought it was just a way of organizing my thoughts, but now I realize that some of my entries are prayers. This is an exciting realization for me. This is something I can do. This is a way of listening to God's message that I can understand.
As I write this, I'm listening to my ipod on shuffle, and the song "Word of God Speak" by MercyMe just came on:
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
God is speaking to me again. I thank you, God, that you speak to me, and I pray that you'll continue to teach me how to listen to you.
As I write this, I am flying from Salt Lake City to Indianapolis: the last leg of a series of flights that started over 24 hours ago in Beijing, China. I've had a lot of time on airplanes and in airports on this trip to be able to read. And my mind is swimming with the things I've read. The latest is a book called "Prayer For People Who Can't Sit Still." I bought this book at General Assembly this summer, but haven't taken the time to read it until now. In the book, the author writes about alternative ways to pray besides sitting still and concentrating for extended periods of time.
I have to admit that prayer is a big weakness in my spiritual life. Whenever I try to pray, I find my mind wandering. I can't focus on what I'm wanting to say to God, or on listening to what God has to say to me. I feel guilty. I feel inadequate (which, of course, I am). There have been exceptions to these feelings, though. When I was on my Emmaus Walk, I found myself praying and listening to God several times. I don't really know how long I prayed, but it was for considerable lengths of time. That was the first time I truly realized that God was speaking to me; the first time I truly heard and listened. Since then, though, my prayer life could only be described as pathetic.
One of the books I read this week recommended spending a minimum of 30 minutes each day in prayer. And this book made a point: How can we expect to have a relationship with God if we don't spend time communicating with Him? The author asked what our marriages would be like if we spent as little time communicating with our spouses as we do with God.
So the first method of praying discussed in the "Prayer" book is journaling. As I read the chapter, I started to understand why I sometimes feel compelled to blog. Originally, I thought it was just a way of organizing my thoughts, but now I realize that some of my entries are prayers. This is an exciting realization for me. This is something I can do. This is a way of listening to God's message that I can understand.
As I write this, I'm listening to my ipod on shuffle, and the song "Word of God Speak" by MercyMe just came on:
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
God is speaking to me again. I thank you, God, that you speak to me, and I pray that you'll continue to teach me how to listen to you.
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